Step 1 of 4

Meet your pet

Upload a photo and tell us the basics. The more expressive the photo, the funnier the roast.

📸

Drop a photo or click to upload

JPG, PNG up to 5MB. Face shots work best.

Tap to change photo
Step 2 of 4

The personality quiz

These answers fuel the AI roast engine. Be honest — your pet is watching.

⚡ Zero to zoomies in 0.3 seconds
🏃 Bursts of energy between marathon naps
😴 Professional napper, conserves energy for treats
🛋️ Existential couch potato, inner peace achieved
💥 Destroying things that don't belong to them
👁️ Staring with unblinking judgment
🍗 Begging for food they just had
🎯 Following you like a surveillance drone
🤤 Will sell their soul for a single treat
😏 Pretends to be above it, secretly obsessed
🧐 Picky eater, champagne taste on kibble budget
🗑️ Eats everything, including non-food items
Step 3 of 4

Almost there...

A few more questions to unlock the full roast potential.

🥳 Full body wiggles, screaming like you returned from war
😒 Slow blink from across the room. Whatever.
🎁 Brings you a gift (shoe, sock, something dead)
💤 Doesn't notice, too busy sleeping
🛏️ Your bed, specifically the exact center
👀 Their own bed, positioned to watch you
🚫 Wherever they're not supposed to
🎰 New bizarre spot every day
🥷 Stealing food, professional heist artist
🌿 Rolling in something disgusting, looking proud
🏴‍☠️ Hoarding items in a secret stash
🎭 Being adorable to manipulate you for treats
Step 4 of 4

Review & get your report

Confirm everything looks right, then unleash the roast.

We'll send your report here. Your PDF download link will also be in this email — so you can grab it anytime.
🛡️

100% Satisfaction Guaranteed — not happy with your roast? We'll make it right. No questions asked. Your pet can roast us back.

$7.99
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